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Thanks to a schedule, our marriage copes well during the lockdown

Ion
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Thanks to a schedule, our marriage copes well during the lockdown

Every couple probably has been asked, “How are you as a couple during the lockdown?“

At an average, a working spouse is at home only twice a week – that’s 8 times every month and 48 days every 365 days – that is if they stay home and not spend the days off outside for leisure, sidelines, or community work.

Only forty-eight days in one year (plus the vacation leaves) – that’s very little. It’s even worse for those who work six days a week. That’s why I thought married couples would welcome the idea of a work-from-home.

Apparently, many married couples are not enjoying the extended time together. I’ve read blogs about couples fighting and divorce rates increasing. It’s a sad surprise for me.

Lockdown marriage

The last 3 months gave us a preview of what retirement looks like sans the work. As my wife and I are pondering why we seem to enjoy the extended stay at home, we thought maybe because our relationship has already been on a ‘lockdown’ setup for years now.

I mean, spending a long time with each other is not really new. About 4 years ago, I gave up 90% of my activities that consume my time after work, including weekends.

Our marriage is not spared from conflicts, but to be honest, I can’t remember when was the last time we had a fight, and what was that about.

Let me share some of the reasons why I think our relationship clicks during the lockdown:

We give each other space

She knows the type of work I do. I allowed her to understand the highs and lows at work – what causes stress and pressure, and what would enable me to deliver on or beyond expectations. Though it is challenging in a home setup, she gives me space to allow me to focus properly at work. She avoids things that would distract me.

I also give her the space she needs to do what she loves doing – baking is one of them. And while she’s at it, I’ll be in-charge with the kids.

Knowing the importance of momentum is essential to give your partner the needed space and time.

We recognize outlets

She knows that blogging is close to my heart. It is my outlet to unwind from work stress. It is one of many ways I can sustain a good mental approach to everything I do. So she recognizes the need for time to do that – even if it’s ‘just’ a hobby.

For her, it’s the time with her friends online.

We plan and schedule everything

Planning is always essential. If we plan things at work or in the community, why not plan things at home too?

We live with the most important people in our lives at home, so it is just right to ensure that we are responding to their needs accordingly.

husband and wife home schedule with the family
My kind of schedule while on Work From Home setup

Above is my schedule this week. By writing my activities in a table, it gives me the consciousness of where I put my time the most. It allows me to manage my energy better because it avoids surprises. It also takes care of my momentum to do more in less time.

WORK easily takes the biggest part of the day and it is what it is. So I make sure that the next big part in my schedule is time spent with the family (yellow colors). The time for myself is the least. MANY, many people always assume that I am busy with a lot of stuff. Yes, I am. I am busy with the most precious people in my life.

Do not underestimate the value of scheduling. It does wonders. Kids, after all, are the biggest work to attend to – they are the real work.

We talk A LOT

We talk a lot even when I’m at the office, so it’s not an issue now that we’re together longer in a day. If you look at the schedule again, we have reserved a date night every Tuesday. Since we’re in lockdown, we don’t go out. We just find that time to sit and talk about how we were as a partner in the last week. The accountability to each other and to God makes it easier to commit to being corrected in times we drift away from our roles.

We delegate tasks between the two of us

In addition to understanding our roles as husband and wife, we also make sure that tasks are delegated between the two of us. We divide tasks by interest, knowledge, and weight, not by gender. At the end of the day, every decision has to be talked about.

We respond to our love languages

Whenever love language is fulfilled, the relationship blossoms even more. Knowing your spouse’s love language ensures that you are expressing, giving, and receiving love in a genuine and thoughtful way.

There are 5 love languages – quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, affection or physical touch, and gifts. You can learn more about these through the book by Gary Chapman. You can buy one from Amazon for only AED51.

Click here to buy this book from Amazon UAE.

We commit to discipleship

Ever since we introduced our 7-year old into discipleship, we committed to do it 4 times a week – that’s her preference by the way. Discipleship (EFAD – Every Family A Discipleship group), is a time where we discuss stories from the bible. Sometimes we use other books or online materials too. At the end of each session, we ensure that she has a takeaway that would be valuable to her character and role in the family.

Her interest spills to her own time that she writes those points that gave her an impact in a journal.

We also have our own bible reading time every night. We keep seeking God’s word because we believe it is the only guide that matters when it comes to steering the marriage. We ensure that we look at things from a spiritual and practical perspective at all times. In the end, it is always a question of, “what would God say?” about our actions and decisions.

We enjoy home

As the play nature of the kids got restricted to indoors, we have to improvise ways to keep the boredom away. The home is a big playground. We try to respond to their recreational needs by just being there to play, dance, and really just jump in the bed with them.

If you can, try buying low-cost toys to ‘bring the playground to home,’ like this slide that cost only 95 dirhams in Amazon. We bought one for the 1-year old, as recommended by a friend.

You can buy this for only AED95 here.

Make your partner your top critique

One of the conversation starters in our relationship is critique. I’ll ask her what she thinks about my work or my blog. And she does the same about her recipes and cakes. We critique each other’s parenting approach too, and when we do, it’s always about highlighting what’s good, or if there are ways to make it better next time.

It’s all about communication

Before we get married, didn’t we say we want to spend the rest of our lives together? I think this lockdown is the reality of that desire.

It will never be perfect, but if there’s really good communication in place – vertical and horizontal – everything can just be a matter of planning, talking, and walking the talk.

How much did you save during the lockdown?

Ion
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How much did you save during the lockdown?

This post is not intended to glorify the lockdown but more of an encouragement to look at one of the bright spots during the pandemic. Looking at the savings always brings positive effects to our brain, so why don’t we?

Working from home for 3 months (and counting) gave me an opportunity to save money. If you are like me, driving to work, we might have the same savings pattern, especially in transportation. Here are some of the work-related expenses I was able to save:

ExpensesSavings (per month)
Petrol400
Salik (Toll gate)400
Parking0
Car Wash55
Dry cleaning & ironing45
Dining Out400
Mobile Data Add-on30
Haircut45
TOTAL1,375
Plus the expenses for packed lunch, electricity for ironing school uniform and office clothes, water for laundry, and the few weekend getaways.

That’s over 4,000 dirhams in 3 months.

But, on the other hand, we saw a significant increase in spending on the following items and utilities, that almost offset a big part of the savings:

  1. Fruits
  2. Vitamins
  3. Flour (we bake, A LOT)
  4. Snack box
  5. Cleaning and disinfectant solutions
  6. Face masks and gloves
  7. Electricity bill (added usage of AC and computers)
  8. Activities for the family (like board games to keep more active)
We bought a Monopoly board game from Amazon – click here to buy yours.

Thanks to an improvised family expense tracker app, we were still able to control the unexpected expenses.

You, for sure, may find more areas to save money during the quarantine, like commuting costs, gym memberships, movies, coffee at work, salon, spa, and more.

What to do with those extra savings?

If there’s one key financial lesson this pandemic has largely made us realize, it is the value of savings and emergency funds. If you are blessed to be able to save some, you might consider investing some of it to make it grow – or just not spend money unnecessarily.

A recent article in Gulfnews suggests to not send the money home, not make big purchases, and instead, keep the money intact to sustain yourself as difficult times are expected to continue.

Prepare for the inevitable.

Now is the best time to take lessons from the ants. Learn from their ways and become wise!

Photo from unsplash.com

To get there, we have to be together as one

Ion
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To get there, we have to be together as one

With what’s happening around the world today, there should be no room to make mountains out of molehills.

In the Philippines, I’m pretty sure there are hundreds of groups celebrating Independence Day every year. So what’s the difference if more groups in Dubai want to celebrate it too?

Are we really united?

True unity is not only shown through events with scented battle cries. True unity comes with empathy – how we come together especially in times of crisis, and how we rejoice for others’ successes – regardless if we belong to different groups.

Why can’t multiple celebrations co-exist? The worst thing we can do to commemorate what our heroes have done for our country is to be legalistic. Jose Rizal has defied many Spanish legalities when he pushed for reform. Andres Bonifacio was a revolutionist. KKK secretly convened because the legalities are suppressing. Yet we are honoring them. If not for them, there will be no Independence Day at all.

Power of two, not power play

Why can’t we just look at one being an “official” event, and the other as a privately-organized event – a “people’s choice” perhaps?

Is it much easier to throw shades against each other than to throw support? If I see more people celebrating patriotism, I would be elated.

We are not kids anymore. We don’t need petty bickering (I can’t believe I still have to say this). If we can’t shrug off politics, we are taking the public away from the real essence of why we are celebrating Independence Day in the first place. The more we focus on this issue, the more we drift away from the purpose. What’s there to celebrate?

How can we preach freedom if our hearts are locked by hatred, insecurities, and grudge?

People continue to lose their jobs, families have growing health concerns, and the Filipino community is divided on having 2 Independence Day celebrations? C’mon! We are better than this.

Quarantine baking: Why people make bread and cakes during the lockdown?

Ion
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Quarantine baking: Why people make bread and cakes during the lockdown?

“This quarantine has been tough. Let’s bake a cake or make some cookies…”

In a short period of time, baking has become an obvious stress reliever to many wives and moms all over the world.

“Baking Boom” or “Anxiety Baking” (whatever we want to call it) seems like a rising phenomenon during the lockdown as evidenced by the massive surge of posts on Facebook and Instagram with the hashtag #QuarantineBaking. Flour becoming out-of-stock is another strong evidence too.

Our household is not spared. My wife took this lockdown as an opportunity to finally start what she’s been wanting to do for years. She did it not out of stress though. It’s more about using that little extra time since I started working from home. She got more inspiration to do it as the kids give her louder cheers. (If you could only hear the cheers)

I saw her intentionality in researching, watching videos, and asking people. What’s even better is, Aya cheerfully gets involved too. In fact, she’s the most excited. In ONE month, these are all what Raqz has baked.

  • Double layer chocolate moist cake with choco cream cheese filling
  • Banana cake with chips
  • Slice of cake with cream cheese filling
  • The assistant
  • Blueberry muffins
  • Banana muffin with choco chips
  • Chocolate crinkles
  • Soft chocolate muffins with cream frosting
  • The best cheese crinkles in the world

She knows I have a sweet tooth (and the kids too) – so that makes it even more encouraging to continue baking and trying new recipes one after the other. Surprisingly, all her first takes were so good. Now, her to-do list grows longer every day.

So far, this Cheese Crinkles is her best seller, she’s baked this 4 times already.

It gives me joy seeing the light in her eyes as her long-time desire to bake for the family is getting fulfilled – and not stopping any time soon.

Our love tank is always full!

#QuarantineBaking is real

My mom, who has stopped baking for about decades already reconnects to her well-loved passion by revisiting her old recipes to pick what her grandkids would love. Now, she also bakes traditional bread and cakes these days like pandesal, cheese buns, tasty loaf, and more.

We don’t buy bread as much as we did before anymore.

Since then, there’s this mouth-watering scent that lingers inside the house. ‘Amoy panaderia na sa amin, mapapasinghot ka sa sarap…‘

Launching the new you

Life is such a dough. It gets battered, rolled and flattened. In the end, it gets formed into a shape and put in extreme heat. But after all the beating, it comes out as a wonderfully-made sweet thing that satisfies.

See, quarantine is not all about getting stressed with what’s happening outside, it gives also an opportunity to make things happen inside.

It could even launch the new you.

Send money to the Philippines FREE using GCash option in Denarii Cash

Ion
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Send money to the Philippines FREE using GCash option in Denarii Cash

Sending money to the Philippines without any transaction fees – zero, nada, nil – is possible today. Thanks to the recent partnership between GCash and UAE-based company, Denarii Cash.

Sharing the same commitment of offering convenient and affordable financial services to Filipinos, GCash and Denarii Cash are waiving the transaction fees on every money transfer.

How to send money using the GCash option?

Users just need to download the Denarii Cash app from the Google PlayStore or App Store and add their recipient’s GCash details on the app.

Denarii Cash also offers several ways for OFWs to pay their transfer so they can send money as soon as they need to. The recipient will immediately receive the money in their GCash account. Both companies are exploring more ways to reach out to OFWs with better solutions and more affordable offers in the future.

“We believe that Filipinos deserve a faster, cheaper, and safer option to send to their families back home especially at a time like this. We partnered with GCash, the number one mobile wallet in the Philippines because we think that both companies share the same vision,” 

Denarii Cash Founder, Jon Santillan 

For his part, Fred Levy, the Chief Commercial Officer at GCash said, “We see this as a strategic partnership as we aim to help OFWs and their families in the Philippines have access to innovative solutions like GCash for a fast, convenient and secure way of sending money thereby supporting our purpose of financial inclusion.“

GCash is operated by Mynt and a partnership between Ayala Globe, and Ant Financial. It is a micropayment service that transforms the mobile phone into a virtual wallet for secure, fast, and convenient money transfer. It currently has 20 million subscribers and more than 70K merchant partners that allow cashless transactions.

The free money transfer is valid until 30th June 2020 only. However, a discount of 50% will be in place from 1st July to 31st August 2020.

Denarii Cash is now one of the leading cross-border money transfer apps in UAE that takes care of overseas Filipino’ money-sending and bills payment needs. It was founded by a team of OFWs with most of its employees being OFWs as well.

Soon, Denarii Cash will be expanding services across the Middle East so more OFWs can experience the same benefits.

Are there bats in Dubai?

Ion
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Are there bats in Dubai?

What is it? I bet it’s a bat!

This afternoon, there were 2 birds chirping so loud in the balcony like they were fighting. At a closer look, we saw they were trying to attack this small species. And in a snap, this creature flew about a meter and dropped off the floor – motionless.

It was too small – about 3 inches when it folded its wings. My daughter was screaming upon the sight of this poor creature.

The slippers was already there. It looked like it squeezed itself under it.

I presume it ‘dropped dead’ as it only moved once when it folded its wings. Probably it was hurt by the bigger birds.

Are there bats in the UAE?

I did a quick search and found this information from Exotic Dubai website:

Several species of bats occur in the UAE. The most common insect-eating bats are the mouse-tailed bat (Rhinopoma muscatellum) and the sheath-tailed bat (Taphozous nudiventris) followed by the leaf-nosed bat (Asellia tridens). These are small bats with bodies only a few cms in length and a wingspan of 20 to 25cm. All three are active at night, spending their days suspended from the ceiling of a cave, in rock crevices, hollow trees or under the roofs of old buildings

Here’s a short clip as I saw it:

Top photo: Unsplash

Should we worry about a locust swarm in Dubai?

Ion
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Should we worry about a locust swarm in Dubai?

They may be teeny tiny, but in swarms, locusts can create major agricultural destruction which can lead to food shortages especially in a city that is unprepared to deal with the loss of crop.

Recent sightings of locust swarms in some areas in Dubai sparked concerns if the biggest locust outbreak in 70 years is invading the UAE soon. 

Twenty-three countries across East Africa, the Middle East, and South Asia particularly India and Pakistan, lately, reported destructive locust and desert locust attacks – considered the biggest outbreak in recent times, according to the World Bank.

What are desert locusts?

The ones usually seen in the UAE are the Desert Locusts, a notorious species, according to the National Geographic. They can travel up to 150 kilometers a day, sometimes in swarms as large as 250 kilometers across, eating up every bit of greenery on their way.

According to Reuters, In Kenya, the locusts are eating in one day the amount of food consumed by all Kenyans in two days.

Is this the first locusts swarm in the UAE?

The National said that the last sighting of a locust swarm, probably the UAE’s worst plague in half a century, happened a decade ago when swarms devastated much of Al Ain’s date palms.

Should residents be worried?

Strong winds brought the locusts from Africa to the UAE. However, Dubai authorities assure the public that there is an effort to control the (impending) swarm and eventually eliminate them completely.

“Pest control teams are intensifying their efforts to eliminate them permanently… The situation is under control and there’s no need to worry.”

Dubai Municipality, via Emarat Al-Youm

Do locusts attack people?

Locusts do not attack people or animals – especially if you don’t live within huge vegetation or agricultural area. They won’t transmit viruses as don’t carry diseases.

But some experts worry that locust plagues will worsen in a warming world, which means more crop damage and less food for the hungry.

Top photo by National Geographic

What activities are allowed without a face mask in Dubai?

Ion
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What activities are allowed without a face mask in Dubai?

As part of easing of restrictions, the Dubai authorities via the Dubai Media Office, announced that removing of masks is allowed in the following conditions:

  1. During rigorous exercise
    including jogging outdoors
  2. Alone in the office
    and, not surrounded by many
  3. Driving alone
    or, with members of the same family
  4. Dining indoor or outdoor
    when you are about to eat

Exemptions in wearing masks in Dubai

  1. People with cognitive, intellectual and sensory disorders
    an official medical report is needed
  2. People with severe respiratory conditions
    who require supplemental oxygen; an official medical report is needed
  3. Children under the age of 6
    infants, toddlers, pre-schoolers included

Here are the announcements made by Dubai Media Office viaTwitter:

People in Dubai are bartering their gadgets and accessories in exchange for food

Ion
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People in Dubai are bartering their gadgets and accessories in exchange for food

The barter has indeed returned – and in a very amicable fashion. Quite surprisingly, people in Dubai barter with kindness, not with the price of their items.

A newly formed Facebook group, Amicable Barter Community in Dubai (ABCD), gave every Dubai resident a ‘search warrant’ to look for preloved items they may want to exchange for another’s items.

Since its formation, more than 30,000 people have been searching their bedrooms, stock rooms, and cupboards for what to barter. And many have found a new reason to stay up all night to vigilantly stand by and not miss a great deal.

Kidding aside, it warms my heart to see that majority of the posts are bartering their designer bags, shoes, and gadgets for essentials like food and supplements. What makes it even more special is that most of the exchanges for food will go to various donations. Truly a refreshing perspective look at generosity.

“A generous person will prosper, and whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”

Proverbs 11:25

What a beautiful way to barter. Here are some:

Rice is life

It’s not that people have been kind, it also underscores that Filipinos love rice.

Spam is lifer

For some reasons, SPAM – the American brand meatloaf – is in hot demand!

Jeff, summarizes what everyone exactly plans doing…

Hats off to you, Rocky and Lou Parroco for making everybody move in an enjoyable way even in the middle of a crisis. This is such a great initiative. God loves a cheerful giver and everybody’s having fun.

Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching

Ion
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Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching

When I design t-shirts, I make sure that I only use licensed software, and a licensed font, or at least the royalty-free ones.

Whenever I use stock photos for my articles, videos, or background music for my vlog, I make sure they are royalty-free. If it requires credit, I give credit.

When we opened a business, we registered to get an e-Commerce license to do things the right way.

Even though I still falter at times, this is how integrity is becoming a way of life in our family. I was attacked on integrity in the past and had to learn my lessons the hardest way. And thanks to his amazing grace, God has saved and brought me up to strive with integrity, no matter how big or small the situation I may be in.

Leading by example

Every time I am in a ‘negotiating’ situation, I always get reminded to think about my kids. Kids? Yes! What would they take away from me as an example?

Last week, we went to an ophthalmologist to have my daughter’s eyes checked. Here in Dubai we’re enjoying zero pay on all our medical needs for quite some time now. So when her checkup came out good, she was not prescribed to wear a graded lens. Instead, she was advised to wear protective eyeglasses.

So we inquired in one optical shop for a pair of specs, but since it’s a no-grade prescription, it was not covered by the insurance – and it was costly.

However, the guy from the optical shop said he can make it appear like a graded prescription in the bill, so we could get covered. Sounds like a good deal huh! While I appreciate the gesture, that didn’t sit well with me and my wife. There was an instant conviction – especially on her. We talked about it for a minute and we refused. We paid for the eyeglasses.

Winning in the right battle

In another instance, we availed of a basic spa package in a hotel. In one of our visits, I forgot to bring the membership card. I told the attendant, we only paid for the basic package. She said she will ‘secretly’ give us the higher package for that session and she won’t tell her boss about it. Again, we appreciated the offer, but we refused. We would’ve taken it had it been an honest complimentary offer in the beginning – but it wasn’t.

In another, a parking attendant was not on his post and I needed to leave. Looks like I can get away free! But, alas, I opted to leave my payment on his desk before driving away.

Sometimes, being in the ‘losing end’ is actually winning. It is always important to win the right battles.

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely,
    but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.

Proverbs 10:9, among other messages in the Bible, is always a great reminder

And when your thought process is always right, it’s much much easier to set an example to everybody, especially to our kids.

We cannot demand honesty and integrity if in little ways we compromise them. The best way to preach integrity is to practice it even in the smallest of things, even when no one is watching.

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