I had a lot of discouragements in the last few weeks. I was discouraged because I couldn’t write blogs more consistently. The last month has been one of those really stressful periods. My new project at work requires extra time and effort (and patience), leaving only a little spare time for me to do my blog. But that little time remaining would rather go to the family. Blogging has to take a back seat.
I tried to sit and attempt to write, but because of fatigue, I cannot find the right state of mind to write. My ‘to-do’ list just keeps growing longer. I am stressed. Distracted. Mentally blocked. Never been this kind of drained in years. But… instead of pushing myself to come up with anything, I thought I needed some rest.
So in the last 3 weeks, I took more sleep, went out a lot, did fun activities with the fam, and watched more Netflix series than ever – things I don’t do much in the past because they were counter-productive for me.
Hiatus
As I took a break from writing, I was reminded how rest and slowing down are very spiritual too. My daily reading reminded me that I don’t need to push myself more if I’m growing tired. I just need to rest. In one Bible story in Nehemiah, it says, “The work crews are worn out, and there is too much rubble. We can’t continue to rebuild the wall.”
It’s an affirmation that indeed all of us go through wear and tear. We burn out. We get discouraged. And contrary to what some people say to push ourselves, we are told to take a break. There might be too much “rubble” on us that we need to clean up first to get going. We can’t avoid frustrations, disappointments, and the lack of motivation – these are the rubble in our lives. But we can recognize them and learn how to dispose them so we can continue navigating towards our goal.
Just like in the story of Nehemiah, there was a cloud of negative thoughts trying to settle in my head. I just thank God for developing in me the habit of praying that every time I feel down, I can pray to “help me not focus on the problems and keep my eyes on You instead”.
The way out
Sometimes I ask why I am stuck in a bad situation – not because I am questioning God – but I want to understand how it happened and probably help me figure out a way out of it.
So here I am writing again. I eventually became bored of being discouraged. It’s not an easy switch though. This article I’m writing now started with “bla bla bla” literally, until it discovered a flow.
Thank God, I can rest in the fact that He is in control. If you are into something similar, take it easy, lilipas din yan – but you have to give it to Him!Have a blessed Sunday!
