The following article is my wife Raqz’s testimony:
During my 20th week of pregnancy, the doctor, who specializes in fetal medicine, informed us that there was something wrong with the baby in my womb.
From the scan, we learned that the baby’s cerebellum was smaller than normal. The cerebellum is the part of the brain responsible for motor sensory development. Additionally, the doctor noticed that the baby’s kidneys had an unusual horseshoe shape, meaning they were connected. The doctor emphasized that this was a serious case and explained all possible deformities and disabilities.
At that moment, the doctor mentioned that some parents might choose to terminate the pregnancy given this situation. She asked us if we were considering the same due to possible issues for the baby. This news was shocking, and her way of delivering it caught us off guard. However, we knew deep down that terminating the pregnancy was not an option for us.
Processing things
On our way home, we were in tears, trying to process what we had just heard.
In the following visits, we hoped to see the cerebellum growing as the pregnancy progressed, but unfortunately, it didn’t catch up in growth. The doctor even said that catching up was unlikely, even as the pregnancy continues to progress.
The doctor asked us again if we were certain about continuing the pregnancy. We repeatedly reassured her that we would never terminate and would embrace whatever God had created while hoping for a miracle to change the course of the baby’s development.
We also started to think about the huge financial expenses that would come along. We were wondering if our insurance would even cover such rare medical cases.
Did we seek second opinion?
After many difficult conversations, Ion and I made an effort to fully entrust the situation to the Lord. We chose not to seek a second opinion or gather more information about the condition. We also stopped looking at the financial aspect of things. This will just burden us more.
God spoke to me through Isaiah 41:10, which says…
“so do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
This is the scripture I meditate on day and night.
Praying for miracle
We prayed for a miracle every day, with our family, friends, and small groups. We felt that our personal relationship with God made it easier to let go of things beyond our control, especially every time we read or heard devotions that aligned with our circumstances back then.
During this challenging time, Ion’s company unexpectedly introduced a new benefit for parents of children with disabilities. It was incredible how the Lord seemed to provide, though I humorously prayed, ”Lord, of all your provisions, ito yata Lord yung ayaw kong gamitin. Lord, if it is your will, please enable our baby to be born normal and healthy.” I pleaded with the Lord.
Because Cedie’s case was rare, our fetal doctor referred us to the Chairman of SEHA in Abu Dhabi for further assessment, including an MRI of my womb. Usually, only the rarest cases are sent to the chairman.
Isn’t it amazing? When we chose not to seek another opinion, God opened up an opportunity for us—not to only see another doctor, but to see the chairman of the highest health authority in the country.
After two procedures, the chairman confirmed the small cerebellum finding. However, unlike my other doctor, she encouraged us to hold onto hope for mild symptoms.
This felt more comforting for us. We believed that with our surrender to the Lord, we could remain steadfast even in the face of a difficult situation.
We hold on to one of our favorite scriptures in the Bible, knowing that the same God who made all things beautiful for us before will be the same God who will make all things work together for good. As Romans 8:28 says:
“…in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
It does not say all things are good; it says that God works IN ALL THINGS – good or not – for the good of those who love him.
So, despite the circumstances, our family continued to find joy in our roles as husband and wife and as parents to our other two children.
The months leading to delivery felt like any other pregnancy anticipation. My health was good; only Cedie’s brain development posed a challenge. Yet Ion and I remained unfazed. We had a strong sense that God was at work behind the scenes.
We were more focused on how big God is, not how big the problem is.
The Delivery
On the delivery day, a team of around 15 medical professionals stood ready in case any symptoms appeared.
Nervousness crept in, but we clung to prayer. Our constant communication with God helped us maintain joy in our hearts regardless of the outcome.
The operation took an hour and 20 minutes. When I heard Cedie’s first cry, I couldn’t hold back my tears. Ion, holding my hand, was also emotional.
After observing Cedie, the medical team informed us that they did not see any signs of neurological problems, so they let the baby stay with me before they transferred him to the N.I.C.U. for further observation.
When they handed him to me to nurse, he latched on easily. Ion and I were overwhelmed with joy, as this was one of the signs we were hoping for, considering the initial concerns about feeding due to the brain findings.
Surprisingly, none of the doctors’ initial expectations were found.
The MRI performed at 1 month though confirmed that he has a small cerebellum, but his brain is functioning as normal. And praise God for Cedie’s calm behavior during the one-hour loud MRI procedure. He was just sleeping all along.
Follow-up appointments with the Neuro-Pedia doctors showed no abnormalities. His reflexes, sight, and hearing were all normal. The issue about the kidney before was gone, and no facial deformities were recorded.
God’s goodness
Had we not allowed ourselves to stay calm and let God move, we would’ve probably felt so much frustration and stress, and those emotions would have robbed us of the opportunity to prepare our hearts for the miracle that He’s apparently working on.
Every time we look back at how we responded to the situation, it is always about the relationship we have developed with Jesus. We felt and continue to feel His presence every step of the way.
And true enough, if we surrender all things we have no control over, he will be the one to carry us through it all, no matter how impossible things may look, because with God all things are possible. To God be all the glory and praise.
This is a story about the goodness of surrendering it all to God.
