The one thing that tops all marriage counseling

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I MET MY WIFE ONLINE

I was in Dubai. She was in the Philippines. Yahoo Messenger pa noon. It all started with her asking about job opportunities here. Ako naman, ibang “opportunity” ang nasa isip ko 😛 Sabi ko, “maganda sya, kwela… pwede!” Kahit ang tawag nya sa ‘kin noon, “KUYA!”

Wala pang mobile data noon so we chat when she’s free at work. They don’t have internet at home so she would go to computer shops on weekends so we could chat. I would also use all of one 25-dirham prepaid card in a 40-minute call for her. In short, we talked A LOT. 

After 2 months of EVERY DAY chat, naging kami. LDR. Not too long after, she decided to go here – not for me but to find work. Finally, after 4 months we met in person. (This was our first photo in MOE.)

Unlike today, unmarried couples living together in Dubai back then was punishable by law. Sitting together in public buses was not even allowed unless you “show a ring on your finger.” So after just 6 months, we decided to get married in the Consulate just to avoid getting into riskier situations.  

Everything went so well for us during the first four years when we don’t have kids yet. The following years though brought us to a rollercoaster ride. Many times we thought we’re doing fine, until some days felt like we’re hitting rock bottom. At some point, we questioned if we really invested enough time to know each other.

It was the time when we started recognizing God’s presence in our marriage that we’re able to address our conflicts one by one. It was when we decided to submit our worries and fears and let Him take control. It was the obedience and repentance that brought us back completely.  In fact, the last three years until today have given us the best days of our lives, even though we do not deserve it. Our God is indeed a God of second chances. Had we listened to the world, I wouldn’t be telling you this story today.

There’s no special occasion today by the way. I’m sharing this because I just remembered that it’s been a year na pala since our last fight – POSIBLE PALA YUN!

Some people make issues about the length of time people spend together before getting married. I remember someone asked me if I’m sure enough about marrying Raqz. Maikling panahon pa lang daw kasi kaming magkakilala. 

Time matters, of course.  But usually, a short period engagement only becomes an issue when other people try to get their assumptions into you. They often equate relationship value to the number of years. Nothing wrong with that, but it is not always the case. Some couples spend “long years, but not longer days.” What do I mean? There are people who broke up after so many years, while there are some who could tell themselves they found the right one, even after only spending months or weeks together.

Different timeframes

Iba-iba tayo ng timeframe eh. 

For me and Raqz, there is only ONE THING that transcends any of the so-called formulas, standards, or assumptions – God’s unconditional love. 

So when the world tells us we’re lacking years, God will fulfill it in the coming years – and it starts at the moment you completely entrust your marriage to God. 

Maybe some of you are wondering until now why you can’t work things out kahit “ginawa nyo na ang lahat.” Maybe, my friend, you don’t have to do everything. You may just have to let God do the things. 

Ion
Ion
Ion Gonzaga, a.k.a. "Boy Dubai" is a no-nonsense authority blogger and storyteller. He is known to "say things many people cannot say." He's also a UX designer, runner, cyclist, a big fan of basketball.

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