“Sana all, It’s been a year since the last fight.” I got this comment from the previous blog I’ve shared on Facebook.
A few people had asked us also how we’re able to keep an enjoyable marriage despite meeting each other only through online chat. So let me share 4 reasons how you can avoid fights in marriage. I’ll use C.H.A.T. acrostic for this. No pun intended
C – Conversations
Matakaw kami sa usap. We exchange and process thoughts everyday. When you are each other’s confidant, you won’t need to find someone else to talk to about the most important things. Your spouse should be your best friend, no one else comes close.
When you talk, you also listen attentively. Importante yun! These kind of talks often lead to deeper intimacy.
H – Humility
We struggled with pride in the past. There were times we wouldn’t talk for days because no one wants to make the first move. There were moments where petty things got escalated for no reasons at all.
Humility defeats pride. The Bible says, humility is about looking to the other person as more important than yourself. In marriage, it’s about valuing your spouse above yourself not looking to your own interest but each of you to the interest of the other.
It’s not about who earns more or who does more. It’s about intentionally loving and respecting each other.
This is the main reason why we were able to manage not getting into fights for a long time now.
Parang Pacquiao fights lang – it happens every year
A – Accountability
Having accountability in marriage is a game changer. Understanding our roles as husband and wife is the best thing to ever happen in our relationship. When we’re accountable to each other, we are committed to doing what needs to be done to make things work out. In our relationship, we set a time every week to sit and ask each other questions like:
- How am I as a husband/wife this week?
- What do I need to keep doing?
- What do I need to stop doing?
- How can I be better?
This ensures that we address things before they even get bigger.
T – Trust God More
We have differences. We had a lot of conflicts in the past and we almost succumbed to them. Apparently, we’re not living our roles as husband and wife accordingly. So when we learned to trust God’s design for marriage, everything started to fall into the right places.
You’ll have no regrets when you trust God.
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If you feel you’re still far from doing all these, it’s okay. Everyone has to start somewhere. It’s a process. Trust His process.
